Wednesday 21 October 2015

A shock of awareness



I found myself pondering over and over and over my coffee,
quietly then inwardly,
Black from all its bitter taste,
And excited by aberrant words written on the surface of
that hard coffee table
on which I was resting my elbows,
Elbows tired from holding my head in
such a bored posture.
Where am I going?
Most cliched,
But let me ask you
Have you ever felt that way?
Yes you have,
And You and I as everyone else in here
Has at some stage or another, in their busy narrow lives
Asked that very question, really,
And released it to the skies
Praying for an urgent answer.
Did you shiver, let me ask you
Did you try to make it stop?
Or did wisdom shocked you deeper
Knowingly showing its truth.
Did you lie down with the soil,
Digging for the fertile seed
planted there in your psyche...
That creative womb which speaking,
bears the children of the world,
Urging them to go in there,
To that very root of all
And deliver lavishly,
the shock of much awareness.

That makes for things sharp in sight
So that you don't yet again
blind yourself most daringly
by the dazzling light of gifts,
of this major Untapped source,
running deep into the stream
of a mind creating riches,
River of creative impulses.

Nourishing the soul,
We feed it wholesome food,
cleansing it of all our inner poisons...
Polluting fumes such as concocted reasons
as to why we don't contribute
to the world that goes in seasons
just like us.
Coupled with this,
disparaging inner talk
uttered out loud to the hearing apparatus of our illogic urges,
Suffocating the imaginative methods
By dampening down the flame
the flame, the flame,
It is that flame that keeps them cooking!

If it is not enough to think our idea,
If it is not enough to give it birth
in our mind and not acceptable
abandoning our baby hungry,
While postponing expressing it
out loud into the outer world,
Then why do we shun innovative ideas
Poured over tea or coffee with our breakfast meal?
Perhaps because they need more brewing,
Even yeast dough needs constant feeding.
It comes in cycles.
Sometimes it's dormant, then
reawakens
And no need, really, to readjust it
to fit the vision
of a scrutinising eye.
But do create and recognise your gifts most soulfully
For you are not alone
And the world needs more of you and coffee
To come alive.
Don't just keep it tucked in cosily
In the corner of your myopic eye,
Who hasn't seen this light,
Whatever this 'it' means to you.
Alchemise your creative rambles,
Transmute your strong toxic postponing,
Come out. Come in.
Dig deep, dive in,
Someone is awaiting here.
Wherever makes us come alive...

Fire in my loins




Someone long ago,
told me my neurons had fallen down into my ovaries.
As a way of offending me.
I wish I had said it then
instead of thinking it now,
I wish I had said he was right.
I think with my loins.
I feel right down into my pelvis.
I move through the world
held by the intelligence of what
my feminine parts
carry since birth.
Expressing what my groin feels,
I make for a better world.
I do not wish to have brains,
I wish instead for fire in my loins.

Wednesday 30 September 2015

We are all Refugees




We are all Refugees
Running away from some aspect
or other,
Of ourselves.
Fleeing the hunger of our Soul.
And we keep running in circles,
Running from ourselves,
And running into others
Who are forever the invaders,
Forever trying to steal from us
What we cannot sell to them.

Hard done by others,
Victimised, bullied,
oppressed, ostracised.
We now project onto the Other
-The Refugee. The immigrant-
All that we cannot longer
hold into the light of our
Being.
We now become the victim
and the perpetrator,
Having to fight for ourselves
With ourselves,
The only weapon left
For mass destruction.
For there is fear in ourselves
And fear can quickly turn
into bullets
Which we will endlessly fire
away
Towards the enemy
From the enemy we harbour inside.

'Please look yourself in the mirror
If you are to stone your self.'
Says the millenarian voice
From within the Shadow itself;
This dingy place filled with
all the things we have
delegated it with.
And right There, in the darkness,
Flashes a light ever so bright.

Wednesday 24 June 2015

Letter to a disappearing man












To the disappearing man
Who lifted me up from one or two of my many
deaths before
And who was always there in my fall,
To hold me by broadening the Divine space around me,
A space that caught me at the right time and
placed me right back on the pedestal I had created
for myself during self-love euphoria

I say just this,
As you will for sure hear more wisdom in the
pauses between the words...

Be kind to yourself,
Enliven your senses,
Take care of your emotions,
Provide a safe haven for them and your dreams,
Guard your heart but break it open as often as
you do
And wait and act,
Both at the same time.




Saturday 16 May 2015

Feeling like a fiery Whirlpool




The hurt is opening its big mouth
to swallow us
And we go in willingly,
Without a fight.
Although we fight each other.
And the abyss we build in the process
Is getting deeper and wider
For I don't know when to stop.
And you don't know where to begin.

We are stuck in this crucible
And fire gets used to light up
more and more shadows
forgotten deep down in our
Embodied Soul.

We are a whirlpool of feelings.
And we are spinning around
with them
Until we get dizzy and our
head gets fuzzy,
Our stomach churns,
throat constricted with lies.
Lies we tell each other,
They come out unwillingly and yet they are
deliberate, with a life of their own,
Separate from our real sentiments
Clouded by dark textures
And covered in gold.
And I am feeling more and more
like a Fiery whirlpool,
Consumed in the tragic actuality of love.

Wednesday 13 May 2015

Apologies





Just wanted to say I'm sorry for breaking into ur account. For what it's worth. 
I don't like the person I have become.
I have never done this before.
And yet with you, I feel so uncertain, so anxious, so unsure.
Of Everything.
I'm not sure it's your fault.
Or only your fault.
It just is.
Not right, nor wrong.
But it's strong.
You always act like you have something to hide.

Now I feel like shit because I did that.
After a few bad google translations,
And a spicy message to Rainbow Flint
 I found nothing I was looking for.
I guess you were innocent after all.

But not in the way you act.
I know you will say your integrity is down the line,
That I have broken your privacy, your boundaries.
And it's true, I have.
I almost want to be done with this relationship,
So that I can avoid the person I've become.
I know you won't forgive me,
Or if you will,
You will never tell me
Or it will never show...
(Believe it or not, this is a desperate call for FEELINGS)
Tell me,
Show me!

Or I just won't be able to forgive myself.